They have a sense of humor at Uniqa insurance company, they constantly collect funny reports from their clients and usually decide to publish them at the end of each year. This year is no exception, so let’s take a look at the best client messages transcribed from phone conversations.

Parking damage

“Parking damage?! Both headlights broken, bonnet broken, bumper gone, radiator punctured. Is this what your insurance company calls parking damage? Unless she’d be so kind as to jump up with the car and park it on my bonnet!’

Complainant neighbor

“My neighbor told me that I should report the damage I caused him. Well, this time it’s fair. Those branches from my tree fell on his car. All right then. But watch out for him. He still doesn’t like something. In the spring, he complained that the petals from my cherry tree were disturbing the green of his lawn in the wind, and in the summer he complained that, as often as we barbecue, he still smells garlic from our plot and it hurts his gall bladder.”

One way

“I’m driving down a narrow one-way street and a guy in a Ford is speeding towards me. I try to signal that he is going wrong – first I flash, then I honk. Unwaveringly, he makes his way forward. Well, he hit it. Into me.”

Photo: Jan Majurník

To be sure, we remind you of the one-way sign, i.e. a red solid wheel with a solid white edging and a rectangle in the middle.

SUV parking

“I don’t want to deal with gender, right, but it’s simply a fact that nature didn’t give women something. The place between two cars is just enough for a moped, but not her, she tries to park her SUV there without blinking. Like it was inflatable and she could deflate it a little bit or something.’

A melodic clash with the beast

“I’m driving through the forest, it’s cool, the car hums and hums. Suddenly, a pig from the left snorts. And behind him a second, bigger dus-dus-dus. I blink-blink at them, thu-thu. I brake ooo ooo. I’ll hit the third one. Boom! Dus-dus-quick-quick and then just silence.’

So those were the happy events from Uniqy, with which we wish you all a great not only New Year, but the whole New Year 2024. Definitely go into it with the right wheels!